The question comes up more than people admit — and the answer is reassuringly straightforward once you know what actually matters.
Sharing sex toys is something a lot of couples do, or think about doing. It's entirely normal, and with the right approach it's completely safe. What it does require is knowing two things: what your toy is made from, and how to clean it between uses. Without those two pieces of information, you're guessing. With them, sharing sex toys safely becomes a two-minute routine, not a worry.
This is the guide that skips the clinical tone and gives you practical answers instead — by material, by scenario, by what genuinely makes a difference.
Can You Share Sex Toys?
Yes, and lots of people do. The two things that determine how to do it well are material — which dictates whether the toy can be fully cleaned — and context, which informs whether a barrier method is a sensible addition.
It's worth knowing that certain infections, including chlamydia and herpes, can be transmitted through shared toys that haven't been properly cleaned between uses. That's the practical reason why cleaning and condoms on toys matter — not to scare you, but because knowing the risk helps you manage it simply and confidently. The NHS advises washing toys between uses and using a fresh condom when sharing with new partners, which this guide covers in detail.
The Material Question — Not All Toys Share Equally
This is the step most guides skip, and it changes everything. The key distinction is between non-porous and porous materials — which determines whether a toy can ever be fully sanitised.
Non-porous materials — medical-grade silicone, ABS plastic, borosilicate glass, and stainless steel — have sealed, smooth surfaces that don't absorb bacteria, fluids, or cleaning products. These can be fully cleaned between uses. They're the best materials to choose if sharing toys is a regular part of your sex life.
Porous materials — TPE, TPR, jelly rubber, and Cyberskin — have microscopic surface gaps that absorb bacteria and bodily fluids. They cannot be fully sterilised, regardless of how long you wash them. You can still share these toys, but a condom over the toy is essential every single time — not optional.
| Material | Porous? | Fully cleanable? | Best approach for sharing |
|---|---|---|---|
| Medical-grade silicone | No | Yes | Clean thoroughly between uses |
| ABS plastic | No | Yes | Clean thoroughly between uses |
| Borosilicate glass | No | Yes | Clean or boil between uses |
| Stainless steel | No | Yes | Clean or boil between uses |
| TPE / TPR | Yes | No | Fresh condom every use + surface clean |
| Jelly rubber / PVC | Yes | No | Fresh condom every use, or replace |
| Cyberskin / Ultraskin | Yes | No | Fresh condom every use, or replace |
If you're thinking about buying a new toy specifically for couples use, our body-safe range labels everything by material — so you know exactly what you're buying before it arrives.
How to Clean a Shared Sex Toy Properly
The method varies by material. Here's the breakdown.
Non-porous toys (silicone, ABS, glass, stainless steel)
Rinse under warm water, apply a dedicated toy cleaner or mild unscented soap, work into a lather, rinse thoroughly, and leave to air dry on a clean towel before storing. Do this after every use.
For silicone, glass, and metal toys without motors or charging ports: boiling for three minutes provides a deeper sterilisation option — particularly useful after a new partner or if you want extra confidence. A 10% bleach solution (one part bleach to nine parts water, followed by a thorough rinse) is an alternative for toys that can't be boiled.
For everyday cleaning, the Loving Joy Cleanse Sex Toy Cleaner 250ml is the straightforward choice. Formulated with Cocamidopropyl Betaine — a gentle coconut-derived cleanser — it's safe across all materials including silicone, rubber, and latex. Spray on, wipe with a clean cloth, air dry. Sixty seconds.
Porous toys (TPE, TPR, jelly rubber, Cyberskin)
Wash with warm water and mild soap, rinse thoroughly, and dry carefully. Be clear-eyed about what this achieves: surface cleaning reduces bacterial load but cannot eliminate what's been absorbed into the material. A condom over the toy before use is the only reliable way to share these toys safely between partners.
If a porous toy is yours alone and you never share it, thorough cleaning is enough. But if sharing is part of how you use it, the honest advice is that a non-porous replacement is a worthwhile upgrade — and typically not much more expensive.
Motorised and rechargeable toys
Never submerge a motorised toy in water unless it carries an IPX7 waterproof rating — check the product description or packaging. A spray cleaner wiped thoroughly over the surface (including seams and textured areas) is the safest approach for vibrators, wands, and app-controlled toys.
When to Use a Condom on a Sex Toy
Using a condom on a sex toy isn't an unusual suggestion — it's a practical safety measure in several scenarios, and easy to incorporate once it becomes habit.
Use a condom on a toy when:
- The toy is made from a porous material — every time, with every partner, no exceptions.
- You're with a new or casual partner — a condom is a sensible addition regardless of the toy's material.
- You're switching between partners in the same session — change the condom rather than pausing to clean.
- The toy is being used in different orifices — a fresh condom between each prevents cross-contamination.
Always use a fresh condom — not one that's been on the toy for a while. The Glyde Ultra Vegan Condoms are a solid choice for toy use: thin, strong, and free from casein (the milk-derived protein used in most standard condoms) — which matters if either partner has a dairy sensitivity. CE-marked to EU safety standards.
Sharing With a Partner Versus Sharing More Casually
Context genuinely matters here, so it's worth being honest about yours.
In a long-term relationship where both partners have been recently tested and aren't seeing other people, sharing non-porous toys with thorough cleaning after every shared use carries a low risk. That said, "we've been together for years" isn't a substitute for a cleaning routine. Clean after every shared use regardless of how well you know each other.
With a new or casual partner, cleaning plus a condom is the clearest approach. Not because the encounter is somehow riskier in a moral sense — it simply means fewer shared health details, so a barrier is a sensible variable to control. No judgement, just practicality.
Some couples maintain a distinction between personal toys and couples toys — a practical approach that removes the need to think about protocols mid-session. Both setups work; what matters is that whichever you choose, you're consistent about cleaning.
Storage — The Step Most People Skip
You've cleaned the toy. Good. Now don't undo it by tossing it back into a drawer loose, where it'll collect dust and touch the surface of whatever else is in there.
Post-clean storage is part of the hygiene routine. Toys stored loose — especially different material types in direct contact — can degrade faster and accumulate bacteria between uses. Each toy should go into its own breathable pouch, stored in a cool, dry place. Sealed plastic bags trap moisture; a damp environment is exactly what you're trying to avoid.
The Safe Sex Anti-Bacterial Toy Bag Large is designed specifically for this. A silver-ion lining actively inhibits bacterial growth inside the bag between uses — meaning less transfer, less odour build-up, and no lint on the toy surface. Lint-free satin fabric, secure drawstring, and straightforward to clean. If your order's heading towards £50, free delivery on orders over £50 means adding this alongside your toy cleaner costs nothing extra.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can you catch an STI from a shared sex toy?
Yes — which is why cleaning and barrier methods matter. Certain infections including chlamydia, herpes, and HPV can be transmitted via toys that haven't been cleaned between uses, as bodily fluids can remain on the surface or within porous materials. The risk is significantly reduced by cleaning non-porous toys thoroughly between uses and using a fresh condom when sharing with a new or casual partner. If you're concerned about potential exposure, a sexual health clinic or your GP can advise on testing.
How do you properly clean a sex toy between partners?
For non-porous toys (silicone, glass, stainless steel, ABS): wash with a dedicated sex toy cleaner or mild unscented soap, rinse thoroughly, and air dry before storing. For silicone, glass, and metal toys without electronics, boiling for three minutes is a deeper sterilisation option. For motorised toys, use a spray cleaner wiped over the surface — never submerge unless the toy carries an IPX7 waterproof rating. Porous toys (TPE, jelly rubber) cannot be fully sanitised and should always be used with a condom when sharing.
Should you use a condom on a sex toy when sharing?
Yes, in several situations: always with porous materials like TPE or jelly rubber, since surface cleaning alone cannot remove what's absorbed into the material; with a new or casual partner, as a sensible precaution regardless of material; and when switching between partners or orifices in the same session. Use a fresh condom for each person or each use — don't reuse the same one across partners.
Can you share sex toys with a regular partner?
Yes — in a committed relationship with a shared sexual health picture, sharing non-porous toys with thorough cleaning after every shared use is a low-risk, practical approach. The cleaning routine still applies regardless of how long you've been together. For porous toys, a condom remains the recommended choice even between regular partners, since those materials can't be fully sterilised.
What sex toy materials are safest to share?
Medical-grade silicone, borosilicate glass, stainless steel, and ABS plastic are the safest materials for sharing — all non-porous, fully cleanable, and free from the bacterial absorption issues that affect softer materials. TPE, TPR, jelly rubber, and Cyberskin are porous and cannot be fully sterilised, so they require a fresh condom when shared. If you're buying specifically for couples use, prioritise non-porous materials and you'll have a much simpler hygiene routine.
Done consistently, toy hygiene takes two minutes. Know your material, clean after every shared use, use a barrier where it makes sense, and store things properly. That's the whole system. Browse our toy hygiene essentials if you want cleaners, condoms, and storage sorted in one place.
